


'til death do us part?

by Olpgurl



Series: Damerey Week 2020 [6]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Zombies, Canonical Character Death, Damerey Week, Dog BB-8 (Star Wars), Drinking, Established Relationship, F/M, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Sexual Harassment, Mild Gore, POV Multiple, Recreational Drug Use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-30
Updated: 2020-10-30
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:00:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27048349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Olpgurl/pseuds/Olpgurl
Summary: After a night out with the girls, Rey comes back changed.  Will the strange sickness affect her marriage more than it already has?  And can her husband Poe accept the new her?  A Santa Clarita Diet FusionDamerey Creations Week 2020 Day 6:  Mythical Creature AU (Zombies)/Sick Fic/Book/Mamihlapinatapei
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Rey
Series: Damerey Week 2020 [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1970761
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	'til death do us part?

**Author's Note:**

> This is based on a horror-comedy show so there is some weirdness and a little bit of gore. I toned it down a ton but this is your warning to turn back if that's not your thing. You don't need to have seen the Santa Clarita Diet to understand, this is loosely based on the first two episodes so it's not too spoilery. I did borrow some (aka a lot) of the dialogue.
> 
> And there's a brief scene where Rey is sexually harassed but it does not end well for the harasser. Like at all.

She woke up, a little confused about how she had gotten home. The last thing she remembered was meeting the girls for drinks; their Friday nights a long-standing tradition since their school days. Poe’s side of the bed was empty and cold, so she glanced at the alarm clock on his bedside table. 2:12 pm? How long had she been sleeping? She couldn’t ignore her dry mouth, heading to the washroom slowly, shuffling to get herself a drink. She didn’t feel hungover, just strangely tired despite having slept far longer than usual. She popped a couple of Tylenol just in case, and brushed her teeth, happy to have somehow avoided the nausea she usually woke up with most Saturdays.

Poe wasn’t downstairs, no note on the fridge. It wasn’t until she heard barking that she saw him outside with Bee, throwing a ball for him to catch. She smiled fondly at them, still sort of amazed that she had managed to find this amazing man, let alone marry him. Her stomach growled at the sight, reminding her she hadn’t eaten since last night.

Opening the fridge, she rummaged through it, not finding anything she wanted. Her stomach complained loudly again, but nothing in their very full fridge appealed to her. She headed for the back door, Poe turning his head and Bee detouring to run straight at her. She leaned down to pat him, but he growled and ran away. Poe shook his head, it was a weird reaction and reached out a hand to help her up and pull her into a hug.

“Feeling alright? You slept later than usual today. Do I want to know what you ladies were up to last night?” he teased.

“Robbing a bank,” she replied, kissing him to distract from the conversation. She didn’t have a clue what they’d done, she’d need to give someone a call to find out. “Can we go out? I’m starving and I don’t want to make something.”

“You hop in the shower, I can make you whatever you want, sweetheart,” he suggested.

“You saying I smell?” she pouted. Her stomach growled again.

“Actually yes, but I love you anyway. Now tell me what you want before you get so hungry Bee looks good enough to eat,” he joked.

She looked over at their dog, a tiny corgi they had adopted three years ago when they moved in together. Bee had always been a little on the skittish side but had never avoided her like this before. Her stomach growled so loud this time, Poe jumped away from her.

“I’m going to make you something, go,” he said worriedly.

She sighed, heading back to their bedroom to clean up. It didn’t help her feel all that better, her skin felt odd for a reason she couldn’t quite explain. Blaming the hangover, she ignored it, cleaning up and getting dressed in her favourite comfy clothes. The second she opened their bedroom door, she could smell bacon, the scent making her mouth water. Practically running down the stairs to the kitchen, her stomach growled again. Poe just laughed, flipping an omelette over, getting ready to plate it. She grabbed it from him, not bothering to grab utensils and just using her fingers to rip off a piece, shoving it into her mouth. She didn’t bother to savour it, taking more. The omelette was gone in three more bites. 

She looked up from the plate, seeing Poe watching her in a disgusted wonder. He was still holding the pan of bacon in his hand, leaving her to reach in and snare a piece. His eyes widened, pulling the pan away rapidly. The still-warm grease splashed on his arm, Poe running to the sink to run cool water over the burn.

Her stomach satiated, she went over to help. It wasn’t too bad, but there would be a red spot for a while. She headed to the small bathroom off the kitchen, looking for the first aid supplies. She found the small white case, bringing it back to the kitchen. Poe had turned off the tap, drying his arm with a dishtowel. She dug through the case, finding the antibiotic cream and unscrewing the lid to hand it to him. He took the tube but stopped her from pulling her hand away, looking confusedly at her fingers.

“How are you not burned?” Poe asked, completely confused. “You put your fingers right in the pan!”

Examining her fingers, they seemed fine; she didn’t understand why he was freaking out. “I snagged the tip of the bacon, that’s all. I must have avoided the grease,” she replied with a shrug.

Poe shook his head, muttering about how lucky she’d been before applying the cream to the patch of burned skin. She felt slightly better now that she’d eaten but her stomach still felt unsettled. Blaming the hangover, she cleaned up the mess in the kitchen while Poe took care of his arm. It didn’t take long but a weird silence had settled over them. It took her a minute to figure out why.

“Where’s Bee?”

“I left him outside. He was being weird.”

She headed to the back door again, looking around the yard for him. Bee began barking the second he saw her, heading towards the back fence. She tried calling him over, but he refused to come. Shutting the door, she looked at Poe. “I have no idea what’s gotten into him,” he sighed. “I’ll see if I can get an appointment with the vet tomorrow before we have the showing with the Wexleys.”

She groaned. She liked the couple a lot but this was their third time seeing this house. They just refused to pick. “We’re going to get the sale,” she said with more confidence than she felt. “Snoke is being an ass, we need a win.”

“We’ll get it this time,” Poe reassured, coming over to hug her. 

Karé and Temmin ‘Snap’ Wexley were fantastic people. But she was getting ready to strangle them. They had been to this house over and over and were still indecisive about it. Poe might have been more experienced in selling houses, he was by far the more outgoing of the two, but it was the reason they worked so well together. He did great with the selling, but she was the details person.

Of course, their morning didn't start great. Bee was still acting like a lunatic, and their entirely too nosy neighbour Armitage Hux was outside as they headed for their cars. Poe could barely keep his usual sarcasm in place. Never a good idea with any of your neighbours. Even worse when they’re a cop. Especially since Poe probably had enough weed on him to get arrested.

She shooed him off with their dog, using Bee’s loud continued barking as an excuse while she headed off to the office to get things ready for showing the house. She hated her boss; not exactly uncommon for most people, but she usually had Poe to deflect him away from her. No such luck this morning, Snoke eying her the second she walked through the door.

“Shouldn’t you be meeting the Wexleys?” he said snidely. 

“I’m just here to pick a few things up before heading to the house,” she replied as politely as she could manage.

“Well, since you’re here, I might as well introduce you,” Snoke said, turning back to the ridiculously tall man standing a few feet away. “This is Ben Solo. He’s starting today. Fantastic numbers. You could learn a thing or twelve.”

She gave the new man a weak smile. “Oh, and this is Rey,” Snoke added. “She works with her husband. One who seems to be absent at the moment. We keep her around because she’s the pretty one.”

“Oh, Poe had an appointment, but he’ll be with me in time to show the house.”

“See that he is. Because the Tanos are getting nervous, and I refuse to lose this listing,” Snoke replied menacingly before walking back to his office.

Having her boss ream her out was hardly new, but he usually did it in private. She smiled awkwardly to Ben, surprised the usual flush and sweaty palms weren’t making an appearance after that little show. Ben gave her a similar smile, offering an apology that wasn’t his to give.

“Don’t worry about it,” she replied. “I need to get a move on.”

The Wexleys arrived on time, the house tidied up and ready for their third viewing. She and Poe went through the spiel; they knew it by heart with these two. Now they just needed them to make a damn offer! They had done the downstairs when she felt it; a gurgling in her stomach that wasn’t coming from hunger. She bolted for the master bathroom behind her, vomiting into the toilet just in time. It didn’t seem to want to stop, Poe knocking insistently at the door.

“I’m fine,” she managed weakly. “I’ll be down in a few.”

“We’re … we’re going to check on the backyard!” he shouted through the door as she retched. She had fucked up the sale was her last thought as she lost consciousness.

Poe was patting her cheek as her eyes fluttered open. It took her a moment to notice the tears in his eyes before he grabbed her from the floor to pull her into a bear hug. “I thought you were dead!” he cried, rocking her back and forth.

“Did you get the offer?” she rasped.

Poe let go, still holding her by the shoulders. “You didn’t have a fucking pulse, Rey!” he cried. “I was about to call an ambulance!”

She pulled away weakly, finally catching a glimpse of the bathroom. It wasn’t pretty, the whole room painted in … well, it wasn’t good. “I threw up. Like a lot.”

Poe nodded dumbly. “And that came out of me,” she continued, pointing at the small ball on the floor.

She picked it up, looking at it in confusion. “Do you think it’s an organ?” she asked.

“We’re going to the hospital,” he replied. “Right now.”

They waited for what seemed like forever, at least giving her time to head to the waiting room’s bathroom to clean herself up slightly. She still looked like a mess, vowing to keep an extra suit in the car from now on. She looked almost dead, face paler than usual, hair a frizzy mess. Not to mention the stains on her clothes. She felt fine now; probably just suffering from food poisoning or something. Except for the fact she had barely eaten.

She met Poe back in the waiting room, insisting she felt fine after another 20 minutes of waiting around. “A doctor is looking at you,” he insisted. “I thought you had died! I seriously couldn’t find your pulse!”

“You aren’t exactly a doctor,” she joked. “I promise, I’m okay. All I want is to shower and get out of these disgusting clothes. The nurses keep letting other people in before us because I’m fine now! And we need to get someone into the Tanos and get the mess cleaned up. Let’s just go home.”

Poe looked at her, sighing in resignation. “You’ll make an appointment with our doctor?”

She nodded with a smile, happy to be getting out of there. Not that Poe was going to give her a second’s peace, running around to her side to open the car door for her and propping her up against his side to half carry her into the house. She took a deep breath, hitting the familiar smell he tried to hide.

“I’m okay with you smoking pot, you know,” she blurted out.

Poe stopped them, turning to face her. “I don’t smoke pot,” he replied guiltily.

She rolled her eyes. “I know you do and you hide it since I nag, but I want you to stop. Be the Poe you want to be,” she told him honestly. “I go out drinking every week to relax so I’m going to stop being a hypocrite.”

“Well … thanks sweetheart,” he replied honestly.

“Rey!”

They both turned at her name, seeing Ben Solo of all people coming out of a car that was parked on the street. She introduced the men at Poe’s confused face. Ben had a bouquet, acting far too concerned for someone she had just met a few hours ago. “How are you feeling?” Ben asked. “I heard about your afternoon.”

“I’m feeling much better,” she replied, taking the offered flowers.

“Well, I don’t want you to worry,” he replied. “Just take some time and rest to make sure. I already got a crew in to do the cleaning so you have absolutely nothing to worry about except getting better.”

She gave Ben a genuine smile, maybe he wasn’t just another cutthroat realtor like the rest of them. “That’s very sweet of you.”

Poe took hold of her arm, his annoyed face plain as day. “Well, we’d invite you in, but we need to get cleaned up.”

“That’s nice of you, but you have other things to worry about,” Ben replied. “But actually, could I talk to you Poe, just for a moment?”

Poe’s eyes widened, but she needed that shower. She gave Poe a peck on the cheek, heading into the house after thanking Ben once again. She cleaned herself up thoroughly, keeping the promise she had made to Poe in the car and headed into bed to rest. Poe came in not long after, carrying a tray with some soup.

She waited until he set it down, before telling him. “So, I noticed in the shower but I can’t feel my heartbeat,” she said casually.

Poe leaned towards her, placing his head against her chest to listen. She had always been fond of the perfect curls, taking advantage to run her fingers through them. “I love your hair,” she hummed.

He was silent, head still to her chest. She couldn’t ignore it, his stubbled cheek rubbing against the thin satin of her nightgown. She pushed his head down her body, happy when he looked up at her surprised. “Feeling that much better?” he mused.

She only nodded as his face moved between her thighs. She was feeling much better. And Poe would make her feel even more so. She settled into the pillows, letting him get to work so she could nap.

“It doesn’t make sense,” Poe said, pulling the stethoscope he had picked up from somewhere while she slept. 

She had to admit, he looked way too attractive with it on, giving her ideas for a little doctor/patient role play. She tugged at the instrument, pouting at his look. “My jaw still hurts,” Poe replied pointedly.

“Then stop talking,” she replied rudely. She was still horny now that she had slept. She pushed his head down again, thrilled when his lips made contact. He was being ridiculous about this heartbeat thing.

Poe was adamant in the morning, checking her again after refusing to touch her after their long night of lovemaking. She felt fine. Fantastic even. They hadn’t had a night like that since they were newlyweds. But he still couldn’t find a heartbeat, even after checking several times. Maybe it was time to admit something else she had noticed yesterday while cleaning up.

It had been an accident, but she had cut herself shaving in the shower. It hadn’t exactly been a deep cut, but there was no ignoring what had happened afterward. Or at least she doubted Poe would be able to ignore it, the worrier he was. She took a small pair of scissors, stabbing her palm. Poe panicked, but just like yesterday, the wound didn’t hurt in the slightest. And didn’t bleed until she pressed hard on the skin. What she didn’t expect was for Poe to faint.

She grabbed him a glass of juice once he’d woken, unable to ignore how starved she was. The bowl of soup from last night hadn’t been touched and the hunger was catching up to her. She checked the fridge, mouth almost salivating once she saw the package of ground beef. She left Poe to his drink, tearing off the cellophane wrapper and just digging in.

“I can cook that for you, sweetheart,” Poe interrupted.

She shook her head and dug in with her fingers once more. The constant hunger that had been plaguing her for days finally seemed somewhat sated as the meat disappeared. “Did you ever make that appointment with the doctor?” he asked. “Or maybe we should head back to the emergency room.”

“No!” she shouted. She took a breath. “I’m sorry. I know something is wrong, but I have honestly never felt this good in my life, Poe. I feel focused and have all this energy! If a doctor gets their hands on me, I’m going to end up some lab rat and who knows if they’ll ever let me out! Which is terrible. Our sex life is on fire right now so totally not in your best interest.”

Poe sighed, coming over to her. “Rey, we need to find out what this is! And the internet is not going to be helpful! They’ll say you’re a zombie or something!”

She laughed until she noticed the look on Poe’s face. “What?” she asked.

“I might just know a guy.”

“Who?”

Poe took her hand, leading her upstairs so they could both get dressed. She might have pouted a little when he turned down her blunt offer for more sex. He took her hand again, leading her out the front door, then turning away from their driveway to their other next-door neighbours. “Why are we at Hera and Kanan’s?”

Poe just shook his head, ringing the doorbell. Their teenage nephew opened the door, pulling them both in after glancing at the street. “You’re out of weed already?” Ezra asked.

“No, that’s not why I’m here,” Poe whispered harshly.

“You buy your pot from a kid?” she asked with a laugh. “Oh, Poe.”

He rolled his eyes, turning his attention back to the boy. “How much do you know about medical stuff? Kanan said you were good at that.”

The boy shrugged. “What exactly did you want to know?”

“How can we tell if someone is a zombie?”

They were dragged upstairs to his bedroom, letting the boy poke and prod at her. “Have you noticed anything like deteriorating flesh? Blackened skin? Digits falling off?”

“No!” she replied indignantly.

“Um … have you eaten anyone?”

“No,” she replied the same way. “Oh! I may have thrown up an organ though.”

“Gotcha.”

“So … any ideas? You like this weird shit right? And Hera and Kanan are always bragging about how smart you are,” Poe rambled.

“Well … she’s definitely dead,” Ezra stated bluntly. “But she seems to also be undead.”

“Are you fucking kidding me!” Poe shouted.

“Chill, hun,” she said lightly. “Ezra, give my husband a joint or something.”

Poe apologized. “Okay, so what are you thinking then. Is she a … zombie?”

“I don’t like that term,” Ezra replied. 

“I don’t like it either!” Poe snapped. 

“So, let’s not use it,” the boy answered. 

She’d had enough of this. “I don’t feel dead. I feel the opposite.”

Poe’s cheeks flushed. “She’s been very …”

Ezra raised a brow in question. 

“We’ve been fucking like crazy,” she supplied. 

The teen’s eyes widened. “Well … the undead tend to be driven by their desires so that … makes sense,” he ended. 

“How did this happen?” Poe shouted. “We’re… realtors!”

Ezra launched into an explanation, but she couldn’t make herself care too much about it. She was a zombie. No, undead. At least she didn’t have to worry about getting pregnant anymore. Probably. She tuned back into their discussion at the mention of food. 

“... and always keep her fed,” Ezra finished. “We don’t need to find out what happens when she’s hungry. If that doesn’t work, well ...”

“Well, what?” Poe asked. 

“You know,” the boy replied, swinging his arm downward repeatedly like he was beating something up with a bat. 

She frowned at the kid. She liked the constant eating part better. From the look on his face, so did Poe. “But … we’re realtors.”

They headed back to their house, Poe looking far too worried. “It’s a gorgeous day out, we should do something,” she suggested. “Oh! Let’s buy a Range Rover!”

“No! We need to go home!” Poe hissed before turning back to face her. “We need to find out how this happened!”

“But I’m hungry!” she whined. “There’s no hamburger left!”

“I’ll head to the store, but you should stay here, okay?” Poe sighed. “We need to plan when I get back, got it?”

She nodded. Poe was gone less than two minutes before she got into her car. He didn’t say she couldn’t leave, it was just a suggestion. She found a dealership in no time. Too bad the sales guy was a wimp and didn’t like her driving as she raced through town with the music blaring. But hooray for Poe’s fantastic credit score. She even liked the colour. 

Once the paperwork was signed, she bored of the man quickly. The text from the girls was just perfect. She needed to show off her newest purchase. She convinced them easily enough to meet her at the bar. 

Rose and Jannah weren’t too far behind her as she waited at the table, Kaydel showing up minutes later. She would normally take it easy on a work night but she was dead, she probably couldn’t even get drunk. Might as well test it. For science. 

Rose stared at her blankly. “I can’t believe you just went out and bought yourself a new car like that!” she said in amazement. 

“Well, I’ve always wanted one,” she grinned. “Since this morning!”

“I think it’s great,” Janna added. “If a woman wants something, she should have it!”

“I’m going to get myself a pair of Louboutin’s,” Kaydel added. 

Rose leaned forward. “There’s a guy at the bar,” she grinned. “He’s been staring at you since he walked in.”

She turned to look, seeing a familiar face as he raised his beer bottle in salute. “Oh, that’s just Ben,” she snorted. “He just moved here to start at my office.”

The drinks kept coming and she found herself pleased to be getting a least a little tipsy from the alcohol. The group had made its way to the small dance floor, giving herself the chance to let loose. She never did this, usually needing Poe to drag her out onto a dance floor. And even then she would only do the slow songs. But none of her former worries bothered her anymore. Who cared if she wasn’t graceful, she was having fun. 

Until Poe walked in. 

He took hold of her arm, talking to her like she was being a naughty teenager caught after curfew. “Rey? Let’s go home,” he said as he pulled her arm gently. 

She barely resisted stomping her foot. “No! I don’t want to!” she cried as she held herself firmly in place. “Come on, dance with me!”

“Sweetheart,” he replied, “you bought a car and now you’re grinding on your friends. This … this isn’t who you are!”

“Maybe it is,” she said uncertainly. “Maybe it’s who I’ve always wanted to be.”

Poe sighed, looking resigned when Ben interrupted. “Is there a problem?”

Poe swore under his breath as Ben used his height to move in like some knight in shining armour. “Now, you’re upset Poe, but if Rey wants to stay, she’s an adult and can do what she wants,” he stated smugly. 

“Shut up, Ben,” Poe sighed. “Rey?”

“I’m having fun, Poe!” she answered, beginning to move again to the beat. “And the car is awesome and I love it!”

“Rey …”

“You heard the lady, she wants to keep having fun,” Ben interrupted. “So how about you leave.”

Poe was not the hyper-masculine pissing contest kinda guy so she was surprised when he took a step forward. “You know, 15 years ago I would have punched you for that,” he said to the much larger man. “But I’m an adult. With a wife, a career and a life so I won’t be the guy who gets into a bar fight.”

“You mean loses a bar fight,” Ben replied smugly. 

“You’re missing my point.”

“You don’t want to get into a fight because you know you’ll lose,” Ben said with a feral grin. 

“Look, I’m not doing this with you,” Poe replied, turning to her. “Are you coming home?”

She shook her head, not liking the thoughts that had entered her mind. Poe turned on his heel, going towards the entrance. She called out his name, but he ignored her. She moved to follow when Ben stepped in her path. 

“I’m sorry for butting in, but I don’t like seeing a woman treated that way,” he replied with mock sincerity. 

She rolled her eyes at him. “That’s not going to work,” she replied, walking away from him. 

Ben grabbed hold of her arm, tugging her back to him so she was in his arms. “How about this?” he said with a cheesy grin as he began to grind with her. 

This was going to be a shitty night. 

He woke up disoriented, still in his clothes from last night. And alone. Rolling over, Rey’s side of the bed was empty and the bed still made. The fear gripped him after their fight - she hadn’t come home. There was still hope. Maybe she had slept on the couch. She hadn’t gone home with the sleaze bag. She wouldn’t dare. Or at least, the old Rey wouldn’t have. 

The couch was empty as he headed down to the kitchen to let Bee out for a pee. This didn’t mean anything. She could have crashed at one of the girl’s places. She could have done the responsible thing and not wanted to drive home drunk. Except she hadn’t exactly been responsible much lately. 

He tried to ignore it, it’s not like she was dead in a ditch somewhere. She was already undead so that wasn’t a concern. He went about his morning, trying to make himself breakfast when the knob on the toaster oven ripped off as he tried to set it. He yanked the appliance away from the wall, heading into the backyard with Bee. The dog seemed to sense his mood, staying away as he heaved the toaster over his head and slammed it onto the cement patio stones. He needed a joint. 

Poe wasn’t home when she finally arrived, his car gone. She was pretty sure they didn’t have a showing today so she headed upstairs to change. She was bored after about five minutes of tv, the new energy still coursing through her. Bee was barking at her which didn’t exactly help. She headed into the backyard, ignoring why the hell their toaster was laying broken on the patio, going to her garden instead. 

It had always been a favourite activity, glad that hadn’t changed as she got lost pulling at weeds until she heard the creak of the gate. She rolled her eyes, Ben walking in through the side gate like he owned the place. “How are you feeling this morning?” he asked politely. “I would have thought you’d still be sleeping after how much you knocked back. I rang the bell, but no one answered.”

“I feel just fine, Ben,” she replied tersely, moving to cut him off. “Hangovers haven’t been an issue lately.”

He looked around her yard. “So where’s your husband?”

“Errands,” she replied simply, not wanting to admit she didn’t know.

“And how does he feel about what happened last night?” he asked, stepping closer.

“My husband isn’t my father, he trusts me,” she said dully, taking a step back. “I don’t need his permission to have fun.”

“Like last night?”

“You mean me telling you no I wouldn’t sleep with you over and over?” she teased. “That was the highlight of my night.”

He stepped closer again, invading her space. “We have chemistry, Rey,” he said slyly. “I know you feel it too. You’re hungry for me.”

“Honestly, the only thing I’m hungry for is food.” She shook her head, turning back to head into the house when Ben grabbed her arm. “Let go!”

“Your husband is useless, you need a real man!” Ben used his grip to pull her against him. “How about we start over?”

“How about not?” she replied testily. “You’d think me not wanting to sleep with you drunk would make you realize I wouldn’t sleep with you sober.”

He pulled her closer, rocking against her hips. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

He repeated the manoeuvre. “Really?”

“I feel like you aren’t getting this,” she sighed. “Everything I say just keeps getting ignored.”

He clapped a hand over her mouth, shushing her. “How about this,” he began. “We have some fun and I don’t tell your husband what happened last night?”

“You mean me leaving you high and dry?” she laughed. “I have no problem with Poe knowing that.”

“The way you were acting last night, I’d say he’d believe me if I told him we spent the night in my car screwing,” he replied smugly. 

The anger welled up, her temper frayed for days. She took hold of his hand, bringing his fingers to her mouth. She smiled, hoping for something sexy, but was sure it bordered on malicious. “You’re right, Ben,” she simpered, “you’re just all man. Your unwillingness to take no for an answer is just so sexy.”

He seemed to buy it, loosening his grip on her back. She sucked his fingers into her mouth, smiling around them, enjoying how easily he was falling for this. What she didn’t expect was how good the salty taste of his fingers would taste on her tongue. She didn’t intend to, but couldn’t stop herself from biting down. Ben began screaming, but she didn’t care; the taste of blood, hot and fresh filled her mouth, making her moan. 

He was tired, today had not gone as planned. He just wanted to smoke another joint and not think about how his beautiful, caring wife was technically dead. He opened the back gate, new toaster in hand, not prepared to see said wife’s head pop up, blood dripping from her mouth as she chewed on their coworker’s intestines. “Hi, honey,” she said as he dropped the new appliance.

“So, Kaydel told me she and Beau are selling their house,” she rambled. “They want something bigger but their current place is just beautiful! New kitchen, hardwood floors. I think she’s going to give us the listing.”

Poe kept up his digging, not saying a word. She called his name, finally getting him to look up. “That’s great, sweetheart,” he replied. “We can’t be realtors if we don’t have any listings. It’s simple really.”

She ignored the hysteria creeping into his voice. It was easy enough to do as they finished digging the would-be grave. It didn’t need to be overly large. If she was honest, she had eaten a fair chunk of the large man. They headed over to the large container. Filled with what was left over. What was left was still far too heavy for her to carry on her own. Poe took one of the tiny handles built into the plastic while she took the other, both shuffling the container towards the hole.

“It would have been nice if we had the lid,” he huffed. So, they might have been shuffling because they didn’t want to spill, a sheet of plastic the only thing holding Ben’s remains in.

“You’d think it would have been in the garage with the container, right?” he added.

“I can look for it when we get home!” 

“What? Sweetheart, what good is that going to be?” he complained as he dropped his side, the hysteria creeping back in. “The container is stuffed with a fucking body! And about to be buried!” Poe took a breath, his voice levelling out. “Sweetie.”

She put the container down, worried about him. “You’re swearing a lot tonight.”

“Yeah.”

“Poe, this can’t be about the lid,” she said rationally. “If I had known we were going to bury the container with him, I would have looked harder for the lid.”

His nostrils flared. “What did you think we were going to do!” Another breath. “Sweetheart, we can’t take it back with us and clean it out to store our taxes in! Because of the fucking lid!”

“Fine,” she grumbled. “I won’t …”

He cut her off. “Shit, someone’s coming!”

She turned around, a set of headlights coming their direction. “Crap! What do we do?”

Poe looked around desperately. “We need to hide this! Now!”

They both took their sides, shuffling the container faster, damn the blood leaking out the sides. It was going great until a foot from the hole, the container tilted, spilling blood and body parts all over the ground. “Oh, fuck!” Poe whisper shouted. 

“Do not bring up the lid!”

Poe knelt, urging her to join him as she pushed the more solid chunks into the hole. They were kneeling in the blood, even in the dark with only their headlights for light she could see they were both covered in the red substance. The headlights were still approaching; if whoever was driving saw them, there was no way they weren’t going to prison. Poe rose, picking up one of the shovels to scrape the stained ground into the hole. The car was almost on top of them.

“Get up!” he hissed. She wasn’t sure what he was thinking; they were busted. They both looked like survivors from a horror movie. “Act casual.”

She glanced over at him, a large but incredibly fake smile gracing his face. She made one of her own, talking through her teeth. “Really? This is your plan?”

The smile fell from his face. “Okay, we …” he trailed off as the car door opened. Then Poe did the last thing she would have ever expected. The shovel he’d been holding was raised over his head as he ran screaming towards the driver. She looked up, realization hitting her, shouting for him to stop.

Ezra was fairly average height, crouching behind the car door from his, most likely anyway, former customer. At least Poe had managed to stop in time. “Oh. Hey, buddy.”

“What are you doing here, kid?” she asked as she approached them.

“Well, I found something you guys would want to see and headed to your house,” he replied, looking at Poe warily. “When no one answered, I went to leave it at the back door and saw all the blood …” The boy trailed off, noticing the container and the blood-stained dirt. “Well, I’m good in a crisis and figured you came to the desert to bury whoever you killed. Saw the headlights from the road and assumed,” he finished. “Anyone I know?”

“Ezra, that’s not what …”

She glared at Poe, lying was not going to help anything. “He just moved to town so I doubt it,” she replied. “He didn’t listen to my words and deserved what he got,” she replied, ending with a burp. “Stay down, Ben.”

Ezra walked over to the grave, seeing the remains. “You didn’t finish him?”

“Big guy,” she shrugged.

“Ezra, you’re going to need therapy if you see this shit! You need to go home!” Poe exclaimed.

The teen grabbed her shovel, beginning to fill the whole. “I can’t see it if it’s underground,” he said as an explanation.

“Oh, kid,” she sighed, walking over to him. “Poe’s right, you shouldn’t be involved in this. I’m a monster. I ate someone!”

She looked around the scene; they were in the desert, the middle of the night, Ben’s corpse in a large plastic container, shallow grave at her feet. This was fucked. She was fucked. She was a goddamn zombie! “I can leave,” she said honestly, addressing Poe. “I will take all the blame so you two don’t get into trouble. We promised until death do us part and well …”

Poe took a step closer, dropping his shovel. “I also remember promising the best and the worst,” he replied. “Can’t get much worse than this. You aren’t going anywhere.”

She looked at Poe, taking in his blood-stained shirt. He should have run away screaming the second he walked into her eating her damn coworker, but he had helped her. She knew he loved her, she had always known, but here he was helping her hide the body. Offering to help her do more. She didn’t deserve him in the slightest. “We going to do this?” she asked meekly.

Poe picked up the shovel again, joining Ezra to pile the dirt on the container. She stared at him incredulously. It wasn’t a large grave, it didn’t take long for the two of them to fill it in. Poe patted down the dirt, trying to flatten the rounded mound. “I love you,” she said loudly, wanting to get his attention.

Poe smiled hesitantly. “I love you,” he replied, pulling her into a kiss. “But you can never bitch about the weed. Like ever again, fair?”

Ezra sighed, looking around the scene critically. “We need to go,” he said loudly. “The less time spent at a crime scene, the better.”

“What would you know about that?” Poe asked, perplexed.

“We have an insanely annoying, very talkative cop neighbour, remember?” he supplied. “Plus, I spend way too much time on the internet. So if we don’t want to get caught, we’ve got lots to do. You said he just moved here, does he have a wife or anything?”

She shook her head, doubtful. “Got his keys?”

They finished up with the burial, heading home to change and make sure Ezra stayed out of the way. Not to mention let their poor ignored dog out for a quick break. She handed Ben’s keys off to Poe, racing around the house in search of gloves to avoid fingerprints. They lived in fucking California, having to settle for a pair of rubber gloves from under the sink and a pair of gardening ones from the shed. She’d also grabbed Ben’s wallet, thankful that Ezra had more sense than her and Poe combined. She had no idea where the man lived.

They took her new Range Rover and headed to his home. It was still rather empty, boxes piled up in almost every room except the bedroom. His suitcases were in the closet, leaving her to pile all the clothing he’d unpacked into them. There wasn’t much else they could do but turn off the bedroom lights and leave. Poe did take a moment, knocking over the sole chair in the living room like some kind of petty revenge.

They loaded up the suitcases, heading out to dump them. “So, I think we should take his car to the airport and leave it,” Poe finally spoke. “Hopefully, people will think he just took off.”

“That’s perfect!” she exclaimed. “We should do this kinda thing more often, it’s so much fun.”

“I’m going to say no to that,” Poe replied. “Sweetheart, I’m going to need you to help me out a little. Until we figure this out, I need you to try and meet me halfway. Can you try and control yourself a little better?”

“I didn’t have sex with him!”

“I know!”

She looked over at Poe, seeing the disappointment still on his face. “But, I might have eaten his balls.”

Poe looked over at her, shocked. “Well, only one of them really,” she continued. “Does that count as halfway?”

He sighed. “I was talking about not eating people at all.”

“Oh, yeah,” she answered. “Packaged meat all the way from now on.”

“And if we could return the car?”

She nodded dully, even if it was the last thing she wanted to do. The car was so fantastic. “I should have eaten both of his balls if this is how you’re going to act.”

“Can we stop talking about Ben’s balls?”

She snorted. “Ben’s balls,” she giggled. “They were tiny anyway.”

Poe made a face, finally settling into a scowl. “What?” she asked. “I would have thought you’d want to know yours were better.”

He opened his mouth to retort, snapping it shut firmly to concentrate on the road. They found a bridge, dumping the suitcases and headed back home. Ezra was waiting for them on the porch. “Do you ever do what you’re told?” she asked him.

“You’re one to talk,” Poe muttered.

“I needed to give you this,” Ezra answered, handing Poe a sheet of paper and a book. “You need to clean up the yard or Hux will see it. I’m amazed he didn’t already. And the book is for later. My dad loves this kinda stuff so it might help with ...” he trailed off, gesturing at her.

He looked over the paper; he hoped they had bleach in the house, they needed to destroy the evidence if they were going to get away with this. He thanked the kid, heading into the house to get started. It was going to be a long night still.

He managed to get a few hours sleep, Rey nowhere in sight. She had promised him, he was going to trust she was nearby. They were supposed to have the day off at least, leaving him to reach for the book Ezra had brought them. It looked old, the cover worn and the title so faded he couldn’t even read it. He opened it up, ready to abandon it immediately since it was definitely not written in English. He paused, seeing a picture through the thin pages. It was like one of those old paintings from the medieval times, the humans not looking quite right. But he couldn’t help but notice how much it looked like when he’d found Rey yesterday during her … snack. He flipped through the book, finding more but it was the last one that sold it for him. Yellow paint covered most of the page except the person in the middle. Holding a small reddish-brown ball in their hands. He needed to get this translated. Now.

He heard her footsteps before he saw her, Rey storming in, looking annoyed. “Snoke called,” she ranted. “He’s mad because he can’t find Ben! Because of the whole, we buried his half-eaten corpse in the desert without a lid which I did find. Finally.”

“I found something too!” he answered. “This book looks like it might know what’s going on with you! I know that’s not as exciting as the lid but …”

“That’s great, sweetie,” she continued. “But why didn’t you tell me Ben stole the Tano listing from us?”

“Well, it was just after you’d thrown up a bunch and then you killed him, so I got a little distracted.”

“Well, the Wexley’s are going back to the house today, and Snoke said if Ben doesn’t show up, which he definitely won’t, we get to do it!” she exclaimed.

“This is perfect!” he replied, the smile tugging at his lips. “We get back to normal and no one will get suspicious.”

“I totally agree, so I’m going to get ready and go!”

“What? No!”

“What’s wrong?” she asked.

“Why don’t you wait for me and we can go together,” he replied.

“Don’t you trust me?”

“You did disembowel a man and buy a stupidly expensive car we didn’t need yesterday,” he answered.

“Oh, speaking of that,” she said, walking over to straddle him. “We can’t bring it back. It’s state law. All sales on new cars are final so we have to keep it!”

Her hands slid down his chest, settling herself firmly in his lap. “Don’t worry, Poe. We’ll sell the house and it’ll be great.”

“We kinda need to now,” he replied. He really needed to find out how much the damn car had cost.

Rey leaned forward, kissing him. “Thank you for being my husband.”

This was more like the woman he’d married, pulling her closer to rest on top of him. “I love you too,” he answered, stroking her hair. “We’re going to figure this out.”

She rose back up, grinning. “Yeah … but later,” she replied. “Because right now, I want to fuck.”

Bee began barking from the kitchen. Their dog had been a little crazy since Rey’s … illness but he usually only barked when she was in the room. He gave Rey a small push, he needed to see what was going on. He headed to the patio door, surprised to see the familiar red hair hunched over on their lawn. Right where Ben had spent his final moments.

He rushed outside, needing to put a stop to this. Cleaning blood up in the dark wasn’t exactly easy. “Hey, Hux!” he called out. “What’s going on?”

Hux rose from his crouch, pulling out his ‘cop stance’. “I noticed you were spraying your lawn last night,” he began.

“And?” he replied when Hux didn’t continue.

Hux didn’t say a word, staring him down. “We have ants,” his brain supplied.

“Ants?”

“Yep, ants.”

“So, you needed to spray for them at 3:45 in the morning,” Hux continued.

“Is that a crime now?”

“What’s going on?” Rey’s voice interrupted from behind him, Bee trotting out happily behind her.

He turned to face her, giving her a wide-eyed look to play along. “Apparently Hux saw us last night and wants to know what we were doing out here.”

Rey kept walking, getting right in his face. “How about it’s none of your fucking business?”

He laughed uncomfortably. “I bet you aren’t used to people talking to you like that, are you? You know, seeing as you’re a cop,” he added pointedly. “We were spraying for ants because we’ve been super busy during the day.”

Hux looked unmoved, leaving him to physically lead him to the back gate. “I should let you know, we don’t want you coming into our yard like that unannounced. We have a dog as you saw and we’d hate for him to get loose,” he explained. “I’m sure you understand.”

He thought they were safe when Hux turned on him. “You need to stay on top of this, Dameron,” the man said. Somewhat threateningly. “It could overwhelm you.”

“Right,” he replied awkwardly. “Just … stay out of the yard in the future.”

He turned to Rey. “We need to get ready for the Wexleys. I’ll shower while you eat.”

She headed to the fridge, surprised Bee wasn’t barking his head off at her today. Their fridge was full of meat, grabbing the raw chicken legs. She was hungry, even after just eating a ton yesterday. Ripping open the cellophane, she took a bite, spitting it out almost instantly. Maybe it was the chicken, she had only done beef before now. She found another package of ground beef, digging her fingers into it to scoop some out, only to have the same result. 

She checked the dates on the labels, wondering if they were expired. Both of them were still well within the dates. “Uh, oh.”

She hid the evidence, burying the still uneaten meat in the trash before Poe came down. Snoke’s call saved her; Ben had not arrived at the house, surprisingly. They could deal with this later, she had a house to sell. Poe came down, telling him the news before rushing off to get ready herself. The idea of work bored her, but the urge to win was enough incentive to try.

Rey came downstairs, looking so much like the old her it almost hurt. “Did you … eat?”

“I’m not hungry,” she lied, grabbing her purse so they could get out of there. 

“Just let me take the lead today, okay?” Poe said once they were on their way. “We really do need this sale.”

“I’ll be good, stop fucking nagging me,” she replied. 

“You’re kinda cranky, I can stop at the grocery store.”

“I can’t eat meat anymore!” she admitted in a rush.

“What?” Poe cried, almost slamming into the car in front of them.

He ignored the honk of a car behind them, pulling over. “I tried this morning and it just tasted awful, like it had gone bad,” she answered. “I think … I might need the real thing now.”

“Well, we can’t start killing people!” he exclaimed. “We’re supposed to be getting everything back to normal and killing is definitely not that!”

“I know … but what if I need living flesh now?”

“We’ll think of something later, we need to get to the house,” he huffed, pulling back into traffic. “Just … don’t eat Bee, promise?”

“Really?”

“Really.”

The Wexleys looked annoyed at the sight of them, but they at least decided to give them another shot. He couldn’t help pointing out the pristine bathroom once they reached the upstairs. Karé commented on the bedroom, giving him a chance to try and sell them the damn house. They were obviously interested, they’d come back even after the puke incident. 

“Then you should buy it,” Rey stated bluntly. “Snap, Karé … what are you doing?”

“Excuse me?” they both replied. As did he.

“This is your fourth time here,” she replied. “I mean, this is getting ridiculous.”

“Sweetheart -” he tried interrupting.

“We’re just nervous,” Karé answered. “It’s a big investment.”

“Look, we can’t control our lives, no matter how much we try. Change is scary,” she replied, looking directly at him. 

“Why don’t we take a look at the kitchen,” he answered. “Snap, you said you loved to cook, right?”

“Everyone is afraid of change,” Rey continued. “But sometimes, it comes and you just need to accept it! Be brave about it! Just live it!”

This had nothing to do with the house. “Well, maybe we think life is telling us the truth but we don’t have all the information yet,” he told her. “Like reading and research. So, all options need to be explored.”

He turned to look at the couple before them, smiling a great big fake smile. “But since you’ve been here so many times, I think you’ve done enough research,” he said, trying to save the sale. 

The Wexleys smiled. Maybe they had pulled this off somehow. Until the loud crow of a rooster sounded. Their smiles disappeared. They began talking amongst themselves. He turned to Rey. “Maybe you could see what that was, sweetheart. I’m sure a quick check with the neighbours on the very alive bird can solve the problem,” he told her, hoping she would get the hint.

Her eyes widened in comprehension. “Yes. I’ll do that. Because I’m sure it’ll be an easy fix.”

Rey disappeared quickly, leaving him to distract the couple before him. He kept catching glimpses of Rey out the windows, chasing the rooster but she returned soon after. “I’ve been assured, the rooster will not be a problem,” she said confidently.

The couple smiled at each other. Today might not go so bad after all.

She let Poe do all the paperwork, but they finally got the offer. Waiting until the door was shut, she grabbed him in a hug. “We did it!”

“We did!” Poe agreed. “And you found a way to eat! We might need to give Bee away for a while, just in case but the book might give us the answers we need and life can go back to normal.”

The smile slipped from her face. “You did eat, right?”

“I couldn’t do it!” she cried. “It just tasted awful compared to Ben!”

“You can’t kill people, Rey.”

“I know,” she replied. “Maybe I could just eat pieces and let them go? No, never mind. That’s worse.”

Poe gave her a weak smile. “Well, we don’t need to give our dog away at least.”

“Poe, I can leave,” she said. “This isn’t fair to you.”

“It’s not fair to you either!” he yelled. He took a deep breath. “Let’s … let’s just head to the office and get this dealt with at home.”

He went through the motions, leaving her to sit on the sidelines. She tried to think of something, anything that would work. But it always came back to one thing - she needed human flesh if she was going to survive. The last thing she wanted to do was end up taking a bite out of him. He signalled that he was done, getting into the car for a far too quiet ride home. Poe seemed to want his space, taking Bee outside to play, staying outside far longer than usual. The hunger was still gnawing at her, but she pushed it down. Maybe she would be more clear-headed in the morning.

Poe joined her in bed, pulling her close. “I’m sorry I yelled at you,” he whispered.

“It’s been a shitty couple of days.”

He hummed in agreement. “Do you think that book might have the answers we need?”

“I don’t know, but it’s all we have,” he replied. 

Her stomach gurgled. “I’m really hungry, Poe.”

She turned to face him. Even if the book had the answers, she needed to survive long enough to get them. Poe just looked at her, face pained. They’d been together for years, but she couldn’t seem to read his expression as he looked her over. “I love you more than anything, you know that right?”

She nodded. He had to to have stuck around. She couldn’t help but feel the final blow was coming. “We’re going to kill people, sweetheart.”

She sat up, surprised. “You don’t have to do this with me, Poe.”

“You said it yourself, we vowed on our wedding day ‘til death do us part,” he replied. “I mean to stick to that.”

“I don’t think that’s quite what they meant.”

“But it’s what we said.”

“I love you too,” she whispered, settling back down.

“I know you do. We’ll figure something out, I promise,” he replied.


End file.
